I don't know why. I'm perfectly lovable and terribly endearing, but something about me just makes her stew.
I came to know her through a mutual acquaintance several years ago. Perhaps it's a bit misleading to present her like this, since she technically surpassed the realm of just being an "acquaintance" about 2 1/2 years ago, but this is how I have her labeled in my mind. I simply cannot bring her any closer to me than that without some serious personal risk.
I met her on a good day, and I didn't think much about her. She must have been in a normal mood because she certainly didn't make any impressions that stick out as particularly good or bad. She just was.
Years past, and I found that I gradually changed her label from "Normal" in my subconscious file cabinet to "Nutso."
She disliked me, obviously. But, like I said, for no good reason. I tried my darndest to make buddies with her, but her moods were so ever changing and menopausal that my attempts were futile.
One of the first times I noticed her refusal to accept me as a now-constant in her life and therefore at least a friend by obligation was last Thanksgiving.
I was very nervous about my part in her Thanksgiving dinner. I didn't know how to make homemade rolls, yet I was assigned to that task. I slaved over the yeast, and fretted nervously that they wouldn't rise. I double-checked with her quite frequently to make sure we wouldn't be starting dinner until 2 o'clock. My rolls would not be ready before then, and I wanted them to be perfect.
When we arrived with my risen rolls that were ready to bake, she announced that dinner would begin right away. No, we could not wait until 2:00. Her food was ready now. Never mind that I slaved over those stupid rolls. Just stick 'em in and deal with it.
I sucked it up and ate several half-baked rolls in spite of her.
And then it was Christmas.
I was nervous about her gift as she is notoriously hard to shop for. I finally found something. A CD of a band I knew she liked. A wrapped it up nicely and crossed my fingers. She opened it without much flourish and said her thank-you's half-heartedly. (Okay, it wasn't that great of a gift, but I really tried.)
But, honestly, what I was supposed to do when I received her gift?
Other people in the room received large items: power tools, mp3 players, books.
I unwrapped a very small container that resembled something purchased at a jewelry counter(!) Instead, I found that I was the proud new owner of my husband's baby teeth. Saved all these years, in order that I might enjoy them.
And before you blame her crappiness on holiday stress, hear me out:
She called Josh some time last February and asked where she could return the CD to because she "didn't really want that one." (She did the same thing a year before with a pair of yoga pants, but I foolishly thought it was isolated incident).
I guess I have to acknowledge at this point that she is a member of the family otherwise the rest of the story wouldn't make sense.
This February an entirely paid-for-by-grandpa family reunion is taking place in Hawaii. Dates have been confirmed, tickets have (nearly) been bought, and the happy travelers were practically packing their bags.
And yet, Josh and I didn't know about it.
Very simply put: We weren't invited.
Yes, we are accredited members of the family. We've been around for a while. We participate in all other family events, but apparently, we didn't make the cut on this one.
An embarrassed innocent bystander stuck their rather large foot in their mouth when they said to me, "So, I don't know about you, but I am ready for Hawaii."
What? Hawaii? Who's going to Hawaii?!?
Well, apparently, everyone but us.
If I couldn't tell already from the blatant disregard for my feelings (the rolls) or the obvious annoyance and indifference at gift giving time (CD, yoga pants), she made pretty well clear her feelings with this one.
Hannah = Enemy
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4 comments:
Oh how exciting! You know how you get a picture of someone in your head and then they aren't that at all, and in fact, they are a bit of a disappointment? Well, she was not like that at all. She was fabulous, gave everyone her sincere attention when she signed their books, has a sense of ease just flowing from her, answered any question she had...and...are you ready for this...she was getting married to mr brazil that Sunday! She wouldn't say much about their relationship, because she is writing a book about it and marriage (which I am looking forward to) and she referred to him as "my sweetheart". Usually, I would be slightly grossed out by that language, but she was not pretentious about it...it rolled off her tongue as if easy as if she was saying her fiance. And one of the best parts is that she said that Julia Roberts had just bought the rights to her book to make it into a movie!!!! Her website is www.elizabethgilbert.com and they are going to live in New Jersey. That was something I wondered after reading the book. I am glad you liked it!!!
You're the pot calling the kettle black, don't ya think?
Thank goodness. Someone else who read them! Did you read the Sierra Jenson series just 'cos you couldn't get enough of Todd, Christy, Katie, Doug and Tracy? Just me?
I wish you'd update. Though this story is priceless. My mom's family is the same way. When my uncle, my mom's brother, was DYING OF AIDS in California, my mom's entire family bought tickets together and went out to visit him on his deathbed. And guess who wasn't invited? My mother, who was the person closest to him in the family. Luckily for her, her sisters-in-law loved her more than their own husbands and called her to tell her about the plot. She made it out to visit before he stopped talking. Awful, huh?
Man, this comment is depressing. Debbie Downer much? Wont waaaah.
I think your next biannual post is due.
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