Biology...and Other Health Hazards

I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my memories to get me through.

One of my favorites:

It was deep in the midst of my Freshman year at college. I was the taking the hardest class I'd ever been stupid enough to take. Honors Biology. It was Jessica's fault that I took it in the first place, and someday I'll seek my revenge on her for that, but at that point I was focused only on surviving.

Biology had never been my strong suit. As much as I daydreamed about being a doctor, I knew my fantasies were slightly unrealistic. I didn't want to be a doctor for the constant excitement, or the satisfaction of saving a life or even the paycheck. Rather, I wanted to be a doctor because they got to wear scrubs every day. Not needing to worry about my daily wardrobe was of great appeal to my disastrous sense of fashion, and I honestly considered the medical field for just this reason. But honors Biology was enough to whip some sense into me.

So, it was the end of the semester, and Finals were looming. I absolutely, positively had to make a good grade on the Biology final. It wasn't likely I was going to fail the class or anything, but the idea of marring my transcript with a C in a stupid Honors class I hadn't needed to take was too much for my fragile self esteem. I needed an A.

I couldn't study in my dorm. The half-girl/half-elephant-stomper that lived upstairs was particularly restless around Finals, and her friend, a chick with knack for coordinating her bongo playing with my studying/napping, was at it again. So I headed to the park.

I laid on my stomach in the grass away from the playground. It was a beautiful day, and the park was busy. Kids sailed off the swings, couples walked their dogs, ducks floated by and gobbled bits of bread, and I freaking studied for that dumb test.

Life was seeming unfair.

I was deep in DNA and RNA and chromosomes when a pug wandered my way. He wasn't on a leash and there was no owner in sight so I petted him for a few minutes and sent him on his way (so anxious I was to get back to my studies, you know.)

It was several minutes later, I was again deep in thought, when something happened that (seriously) may have changed my life.

The little pug ran up beside me (I didn't notice him that time) and for no good or logical reason at all, ran at me, planted his little front paws on my scalp and catapulted over my head.

I have no idea why he did it. I wasn't in his way. There wasn't any reason he couldn't just go around me. I wasn't laying in the path of anything he could have wanted. He just did it for the pure fun of it. I can imagine the look of hopeless and happy abandon he must of had on his face as he flew over me. Boy, this sure is fun, he probably thought.

When he landed on my other side, he trotted off and didn't come back. I don't know where he went or if someone was hiding in the bushes laughing at my expense, but I didn't care. I laughed, and laughed and laughed at my own expense.

It was ridiculous. And I got an A on that test.